"And they lived happily ever after..."
This is the classic ending to fairytales, finishing off an action-filled story about a princess or other being defeating their worst challenges, but ultimately ending up in this happily ever after state. But what does this really mean? I suppose that the answer to this question depends on who you ask; a fairytale writer, a young child, a teenager, and an adult will each give you different answers. Each of these different perspectives elucidate the inherent unknown that goes along with ending a story with such a statement. Perhaps, then, this is what makes fairytales so interesting and ambiguous.
While it is traditionally portrayed in fairy tales that 'happily ever after' is directly correlated with finding love with a prince, and living together forever in an unexplained perfect state, I don't think that love is necessarily the driving factor in determining the start of a happily ever after.
To me, happily ever after is rooted in one's hopes and desires while they navigate a time of confusion, hardship, and obstacles to overcome, eventually coming to a place of peace, where they can live in their happiest state, whether this be with the man (or woman) of their dreams, the job of their dreams, or maybe even just in solitude and peace. I don't necessarily think that living happily ever after means that someone will never be sad, never face hardship, or never spend one day without a great big smile on their face. I do, however, believe that living happily ever after is possessing the ability to learn from your past hardships and know what to do when you encounter an obstacle. Once these skills are obtained and you know how to not let one little thing destroy your entire life, I believe that the ultimate happily ever after is reached. I think that the challenging journeys that the princesses/characters in a fairy tale go through are the reason that they have the ability to finally reach this happily ever after state.
Thus, happily ever after doesn't really mean you're going to be continuously happy forever, but rather that you know what to do when you aren't.
What do you do to help pick yourself up when you encounter a challenge?
When I encounter a challenge I tend to utilize friends and family to bounce ideas off of, but I try to avoid past issues and be relentlessly present in the moment. I used to have a trouble with dwelling in the past but after reading your post I have a new found appreciation for the concept of learning from the past so you can be present. I like that you really dove into and found what you wanted to out of this Happily Ever After concept, whereas I focused on the "writing off" of the characters into a stagnant oblivion. I think this is a really good optimistic point of view. Do you imagine the classic Disney princesses learning from their experiences like Elsa in Frozen 2?
ReplyDeleteI also turn to my friends and family when I encounter an obstacle, I think that is so important rather than just keeping to yourself. I would like to think that the classic Disney princesses would also learn from their hard journeys to get to their 'happily ever after' point because they have endured so much, and it shows how they can overcome obstacles in the future.
DeleteI really like this way of thinking about "happily ever after," Caroline -- like it's a state of mind or attitude than an actual state of eternal happiness. It also kinda validates the hardships...which makes me think of one of my favorite reassuring mantras: "Everything happens for a reason."
ReplyDeleteAnd great question at the end! When I encounter a challenge, TBH, I usually need to vent my frustrations by having a good cry and once that's over and done with, I usually feel more focused and ready to tackle the issue.
What do *you* do? :)
This was a really refreshing take on happily ever afters. Happiness isn't a destination. It's not something that once you achieve, everything will perfect forever. I agree that even in your "happiest state", there are hard times. But being in this state means you know not every obstacle will destroy your life.
ReplyDeleteWhen I encounter a challenge, I usually like to take some time to think about just how significant it is. In the moment, I feel like the problem can come off as overwhelming. And sometimes it is, but usually, after some time, I can see it's relevance more clearly.